Sketches of a Life

Although the weakest (so to say) among the products that I'm about to present in this post, NYX's Soft Matte Lip Cream line was the reason I fell in love with liquid lipsticks in the first place. If I remember correctly, Monte Carlo was the first liquid lipstick I have ever owned. At the time, NYX didn't have a single store in Croatia, so I had to buy the shades I thought looked great in the photos online. Once I even mistakenly ordered a fake Prague and, even though it differed from the original in so many aspects, I actually did like its colour more than the original! :D

Back to the start: when I say that the SMLCs are the weakest among the products introduced here, what I have in mind primarily is their coverage and long wearing. These lipsticks have medium buildable coverage and are not eternally lasting (which I seek desperately in my lipsticks). Still, they've been around for quite some time now and there's an unparalleled variety of gorgeous shades (named after cities) to choose from. Thus far, I've owned five: Milan, Budapest, Prague, Monte Carlo, and Copenhagen. The shade I am wearing in the photos is Milan, which is basically my "everyday / off-to-work" companion and best friend.

These lip creams cost about €5.50 a piece and can now be purchased from NYX's stores in Zagreb and Split.

PROS: great variety of gorgeous shades, creamy semi-permanent formula, medium buildable coverage, genuine matte finish, great smell, dries quickly, doesn't feel heavy on the lips

CONS: colour starts cracking after a few hours and needs to be reapllied, particularly the darker shades

I stumbled upon them randomly one day at a local drugstore (Bipa): never before have I heard about this brand. But the available 8 shades looked so stunning I decided to give them a shot: I bought two (Smoke Rubin and Bordo Passion). And I've never been so pleasantly surprised in my entire life: these lipsticks turned out to match all the lipstick requirements I had, far beyond expected. Moreover, I later found out that HEAN Cosmetics is a cruelty-free company and that their products are hypoallergenic, which made me love them even more.

I love these HEAN lipsticks so much that I had to show you the both shades that I currently have (Smoke Rubin above and Bordo Passion below). I have to point out that the latter is actually more on the red side than it looks like in the photos.

Finally, this is what most of the lipstick shades I mentioned look like on the back of my hand. I find it  almost impossible to decide which one I like most.

INTRO

I've never been a big talker, let alone a good motivational speaker. 

Damn it, there were days when I could hardly motivate myself to get out of bed in the morning. I guess we've all been there at some point.

Recently, however, something happened: it kind of felt like reaching a breakpoint.

Which eventually led to me finding the desperately needed motivation to make a change.

So here is my story. Or at least one part of it.

I'm only sharing it in hope it might serve as someone else's inspiration and motivation.

BACKSTORY

You know how you actually see your nose at all times, but your mind refuses to acknowledge it?

Your own mind, preventing you from seeing the obvious.

Your own mind, lying to you, all the time.

That's how I've come to view my entire lifestyle for the past few years: as if my mind knew something obviously sucked, but deliberately prevented me from seeing it. As if it knew my lifestyle was affecting my health and appearance, but refused to acknowledge and act on it.

At least until... someone slapped it silly.

It was an early April day. I ran into a former colleague, whom I hadn't seen for maybe 6-7 months. A casual chat stirred up and she commended my weight loss. Surprised, I replied that I hadn't lost any; I was simply wearing a baggy dress at the moment. Still, she persisted cheerfully: Oh no, you have! Last time we met, you looked like a little bombshell!

Now, a lesson in Croatian is in order: 

bombica, n.  - a little bombshell

1. fig. a smoking hot woman

2. fig. a short and fat woman

Given the context, I believe it's safe to assume she had the latter in mind.

I must admit it didn't struck me right away, but later on, as I came to think about it, I got alarmed. Looking in the mirror, I would always find a million flaws, but excessive weight had never been one of these.

Unless... it was my mind playing that nose trick on me all along.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Time to wake up, Mr. brain!

I CAN DO IT!

Several days passed and I had to go on a business trip. Speaking to a colleague in the car, I mentioned I was considering doing some exercises at home to reduce my belly fat (this was the problem I had always been perfectly aware of, but never cared much to fix). Sitting on the back seat, a girl interrupted our conversation, trying to convince me there was no way I could get any results exercising on my own: as a personal trainer (go figure!), she claimed I needed professional guidance on proper diet and personalized exercises because it's the ONLY way I could get in shape.

Now, what you need to know about me is that the absolute worst thing anyone can tell me is that I cannot do something I set my mind on. Her comment really struck me hard, and only made me more determined, motivated, and eager. She provided me the best motivation I could have possibly asked for: proving her wrong. I know this must be wrong in so many levels, but I'm a genuine Dalmatian woman, and that's how dišpet works.

So here's another lession in Croatian:

dišpet, n. - a feature characteristic of the people of Dalmatia: passionate defiance, stubborness, spite, often to fight something or to prove someone wrong.

So a big thank you goes to this girl, followed by an ever bigger "I told you so!". :)

MY TRANSFORMATION JOURNEY

My transformation journey was never supposed to become a story on my blog. I only took these photos for myself, to track my progress and to use them as a motivation to work harder. But the more time passed by and the more obvious my results became (and the more people started asking questions), I started thinking how important it would be to share with the world what one can do for themselves if they only focused on their goal instead on the process. With all due respect to all personal trainers out there, I am a living proof that one does not need to spend tons of money and time on gyms: being healthy and looking fit is primarily a state of mind. If you're determined enough, you can achieve anything, even if it means taking the long way. 

Throughout my journey, I kept a kind of diary. So I am not completely writing this post in retrospective, from my current point of view, but sharing the actual thoughts and observations I had at particular phases of this process.

But before I proceed to detailing the entire process, I would like to point something out: back when I was 12 years old, I had had a traffic accident which later disabled me from engaging in any challenging physical activities that involved my legs, including even attending P.E. I bacame lazy. This means I haven't run a meter in 18 years! Ten or so years later, I bought myself a car, which means I don't remember the last time I walked for more than 50 m. To sum things up: shamefully, I haven't been physically active in more than a decade. You'll notice this is one of the reasons I initially struggled with losing breath and extreme back pain following only a few minutes exercising; these remarks might therefore be more related to my particular physical condition than to the exercise difficulty itself. 

EXERCISES

I'm not sure for how long exactly, but the beginning of my journey included only doing 10 minute exercises per day, still eating the junk food I was accustomed to until this point. If I remember correctly, I introduced some major changes in my diet after about 3 weeks, when I first started noticing my body actually changing.

Anyway, the exercise set I opted for at the time was inspired by a Youtube video by the XHIT Daily. It included nine 30-second moves: the roll, windmills, starfish crunch, mountain climbers, Russian twists, Spiderman planks, single leg drops, double leg circles, and flutter kicks. However, as I immediately started feeling all of these moves working for me (by the burn in my tummy area) except for the last one (flutter kicks), I soon replaced it with something similar to bicycles, which I felt worked better for me.

As for my diary, here are some highlights:

DAY 1 - 3: There is no way in hell I could do these exercises on the floor because my back hurts unspeakably: I'm exercising on my bed. Regardless of this, the starfish crunch move adds to my back pain. I feel so stunted. Furthermore, I cannot do the Russian twists move with my legs in the air because I can't keep the balance. Finally, I'm struggling with losing breath: I had to pause once or twice for about 15 seconds before completing the set.

DAY 3 - 7: For the first time, in Day 4 I managed to complete the set without pausing, although I'm still struggling with losing breath. Also, I am still feeling strong back pain. But I feel my tummy burning all the time, even when caughing :D And it feels great!

DAY 8: I think I've finally completed the workout properly. Also, for the first time, I was able to repeat the workout after a 30-minute break!

*Skipped 3 days for business conference

DAY 18: I am noticing minor, but satisfying changes going on in my belly area. I have also managed to overcame the balance problems and started doing the Russian twists with my legs in the air. There are days when I feel good enough to make myself do the workout twice without pausing for more than a minute in between.

DAY 40: I feel guilty for not exercising while on vacation and for eating so much unhealthy food: still, I console myself with the fact that at least I walked a lot while sightseeing. After I returned to Croatia, I started undergoing some dental work, which further limited my diet. Talk about killing two birds with one stone! :)

DAY 45: I feel like I've reached my maximum with these exercises, so I am proceeding to 10 Min Intense Ab Workout by Stephi Nguyen. These consist of performing 18 short moves: bicycles, crunches, leg lifts, alternating leg drops, jack knives, bicycles again, crossover mountain climbers, (regular) mountain climbers, plank, side plank, alternating plank, oblique crunches, alternating leg drops again, flutter kicks, leg lifts, reverse crunch, plank, and alternating plank.

Again, I am introducing some changes as I can't perform some moves due to my knee injury:

- instead of side plank I do two sets of Russian twists 

- instead of the first alternating plank I do starfish crunch, and instead of the second I do jack knives.

These are the two exercises from the previous set that I really felt were working for me and that I really miss.

DAY 60 / today: I'm still not perfectly happy with where I am, but I am on my way. I notice great changes in my upper abs, but there's still work to do with my lower abs, which are generally hardest to build. Unfortunately, some days I don't exercise at all for all the stupid reasons (too hot, too tired...), and I guess I now have to find something new to keep me going.

I'm still in the phase of performing this intense abs workout set once a day, but I will hopefully soon proceed to doing it two or even three times a day.

And another thing: I have finally reached the weight I was heading for, so I don't watch my diet that much anymore. More on this in the section below.

DIET

As I mentioned before, I didn't introduce any changes in my diet simultaneously with the exercise routine: I took me about three weeks to get to this state of mind and realise exercises alone won't help improving my figure much.

At the time, I weighted 57 kg, and my goal was to reach 50 kg. Now I can proudly say I did it in less than two months!

Now, some might argue that I never needed to lose weight, but I kindly beg you to respect my reasons and choices: I was simply unhappy with the way I looked, and I had to do this for myself. Actually, losing weight is only one part of my transformation, and I have another post coming up that I'm extremely excited about, so stay tuned!

I must say right away that the changes in my diet were nothing radical: for starters, I gave up on eating all bread products and drinking alcohol. I also gave up on sweets, which was not a problem for me as I am generally not a fan of chocolate or anything sweet whatsoever (yes, I am a weirdo). On the other side, for example, I never gave up on pasta, which must be my favourite food product in the world. I simply made myself have 3 balanced meals a day, counting the intake of calories with the help of MyFitnessPal calorie counter app. This app calculated that I needed 1200 kCal per day, and I simply did my best to stick to it, except on Sundays which I made my cheat days.

For me, the greatest struggle was having breakfast as I never had this habit before. So in the mornings I either had a scrambled egg and vegetable tortilla, a banana with chia seeds, or cheese spread rusks and a greek youghurt. However, as I started undergoing some dental work in the meantime and had to give up on any food that required chewing, at a point I simply started avoiding breakfasts again and got back to only having my morning coffee. 

(I have abosolutely no talent for arranging food or taking food photos, sorry)

For lunches I had basically everything: from vegetables, soups and fish to meat and pasta, just no bread.
And for dinners, considering most of my lunches were quite caloric, I usually only had vegetables (or sometimes lunch leftovers). Also, I regulary did all my exercises in the evenings to burn any excessive calories before I went to sleep.
Finally, the most important thing: if I got hungry later in the evening or even overnight, I would grab an apple or some other fruit (instead of chips, like I did before). But I must say my body got used to this regime quite quickly, and I had no problem keep going as I honestly never felt hungry, let alone starving. 

So here you have it, my whole journey in pictures. I want to show everyone that a body transformation is not only the before/after pictures: it doesn't just happen. It's a process including a number of in-between pictures, in-between struggles, in-between give-ups, and in-between I-can-do-its. And I hope there are people who might find inspiration in the story of a former binge eater and anti-sportswoman: it proves that everyone can make a change if they really, really want it. Determination is the key.
Finally, something I can't believe I'm actually posting: a 2017 vs 2018 photo. On both occassions I was unaware I was being photographed, so there's no posing or flexing, and no Photoshopping afterwards. I am as shocked as you are :)
But what matters most is that I'm also extremely happy and proud of myself, and that I know I will keep going!