Sketches of a Life

Being a (wannabe) content creator on the Internet is seldom an easy task.

It requires an unceasing motivation and lots of free time (that I lack more often than not), and implies readiness to being exposed all the time. Exposed on Facebook, exposed on Instagram, exposed on every other social platform with the sole aim of doing what you love and getting your voice heard beyond the boundaries of your real-life social circle.

For starters, finding inspiration is hard. 

Turning it into an actual, quality content takes time, particularly when you're your own model, photographer, graphic designer, author, proofreader, editor, web administrator, PR specialist and what else not.

But what's harder than anything else is putting yourself, your ideas, your thoughts, your creations out there, and fearing feedback.

Now, the fact is that we all doubt ourselves sometimes. We all seek appraisal, acceptance and hopefully commendation within our social circles. But what happens when we let the whole interested world judge us?

Below are some of the situations I've experienced since I started blogging (and I'm listing them chronologically) that might answer the question.

You get extremely positive comments and encouragement from the most unexpected people

I remember the first message I ever recieved in my SoaL Facebook page Inbox: it was from a girl that I knew from school, but hadn't seen in years. My first thought was: Wow, I can't believe she's reading my blog! Long story short, this message was full of encouragement and praises on different aspects of my blog. I can't even describe how happy it made me to know that someone not so close to me values what I do and feels the need to share it with me. If she's reading this, once again: thank you from the bottom of my heart! It was the motivation I needed to carry on at the time I was actually considering giving up.

You get mild reactions from the people you'd expect to be much more supportive

When I first started blogging, it took me at least ten blog posts (and another cancelled blog prior to SoaL) before I gathered the courage to share my writings with my Facebook friends. At the time, I wasn't really sure what I was doing, where I was going with it, or if it was any good at all. It was simply one of those f*ck it moments when I decided to press the share button and invite my Facebook friends to like the page. Honestly, it was terrifying. And to this day, sharing on my private FB page still is. The initial reactions were, of course, but positive. But truth to be told, all my Facebook friends are the people I actually know, so I kind of expected their support. However, I later noticed some of my closest friends didn't like the page, or liked it but never actually engaged, which left me quite disappointed. What's the reason for this, I really can't tell, but I guess I should have been more aware this might happen and stress less about it. 

You get creepers and stalkers

When you want more people to know about your business, you make sure most your social media profiles/pages are interrelated and public. You publish your best photos, some created specifically for this purpose. And, of course, you do this conscious of the other side of the coin: possibly attracting bad audience. In my experience, it starts with comments on your appearance. Then it moves to private messaging (that I ignore, that's why my response rate is so low :)) and friend requests, sent even to your actual friends. Some, however, get so persistent that you are forced to reply: you kindly thank them for the compliments and politely explain you do not want their presents / travel opportunities / company / whatever. That's when they get mad and start accusing you of being fake / frigid / stupid / you name it. Because why else would a poor Croatian girl be on Instagram but to find an elderly, wealthy German to marry her and make her a princess?

You get absolute strangers supporting you

This is the best kind of attention because it tells you you've reached the right audience, genuinely interested in what you have to say. I honestly value every like, comment and share I get, not because I am obsessed with numbers, but because these likes, shares and comments help me grow my business. I wish more people would understand how this works and why every like counts. Which brings me to:

You get lack of understanding from your friends

I have a friend constantly complaining about my Instagram activity and openly refusing to like my Instagram posts because he believes I spend too much effort on creating content for this platform. Several times he texted me asking what I was doing, and I replied half-jokingly: Getting ready for my Instagram photoshoot. Ever since he's been boycotting liking my Instagram posts. The truth is, I do spend a lot of time and effort on creating this content. And the reason is quite simple: according to the blog statistics, Instagram is the platform that generates most visits to my blog. So in order to promote the blog, I have to be constantly active on this platform. Besides, I genuinely like Instagram better than any other social media because I am primarily a visual person and I like expressing myself and seeing others expressing themselves only visually, which is nearly impossible with other social media.

You get negative feedback

You probably won't believe me, but I swear, to this day, I haven't recieved a single negative comment. Of course, you might consider some of the situations described above as a form of negative feedback. I often do, too. But I suffer from social anxiety, so I guess that's normal. :) But my greatest strength is that I have learned how to control my anxiety and how to channel it into something positive. That's why I am sure that, when I finally experience some hate, I'll be able to learn from it and rise above it. I really appreciate good argument, so I actually look forward to being called on my weak points, mistakes, etc. Remember, that saying If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. doesn't apply here! So hit me!

Which brings me to my last point, which is think is worst than hate:

You get no reaction at all

I'm not talking about strangers here. I am talking about the people I am close with. Those I'd die for. Those I support in whatever they come up with. The same ones who ignored the invitations to like the SoaL page or engage with the blog content they must have seen on various social media. I'm sorry, but I simply don't understand this. Is this a form of negative feedback? Tell me what you think in the comments!

Finally, there's a point to this blog post and it's SUPPORT. I'm saying this from two different points of view: as a translator, and as an aspiring blogger. I've experienced how hard it is out there. The Internet is full of people loving the same things as you do, doing the same things as you do, and trying to succeed just like you, but it's a constant battle: against yourself, against your competition, against advertising policies, against hate and envy. If you're an aspiring artist reading this post, I hope it doesn't discourage you, but prepare you for what you might experience. Be smarter than me and, if what you do makes you truly happy, never give up on it!

But if you're someone who knows someone struggling to make something work through social media, like their handmade products page, photography page, art page, music page, or similar. Even if you don't find yourself directly involved in what they do, show some appreciation for their creativity and efforts, and show some love. Like their content. Help them take or edit photos. Proofread their lyrics. Point to what they're doing wrong and what they're doing great. Your support matters, in whatever form it may come. Believe me, it will be appreciated.

As always, thanks for reading!