A Nice Day for a... Black Wedding
2:40 pm
I had the best of
intentions of writing an empowering, inspirational post on International Women’s
Day. However, as I woke up with the worst flu ever, followed by the Husband proclaiming
“no one marks the occasion anymore”, I simply called in sick and crawled
back to bed.
Several painkiller and
Aspirin bottles later, I finally found the strength and inspiration to write a
bit different, yet somewhat related text to the one initially intended.
I decided to reflect on the question that’s been
bothering me for some time now: what exactly does the term “woman” mean?
One dictionary
definition reads that it relates to “the nature,
characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women; womanliness”. Furthermore,
“womanliness” is defined as “having the traits or qualities that a culture regards as especially
characteristic of or ideally appropriate
to adult women; it is usually a term of approval,
suggesting the display of traits admired by the society, such as
self-possession, modesty, motherliness,
and calm competence”.
A part of me winced as I
read this.
Who and by which right
decided what makes a woman woman? Who
thought even for a second that the female experience could be so universal? Does
a woman really need to meet the expectations of her society on what is
appropriate and desirable to be able to consider herself womanly? And the question that personally bothers me most; does she
need to become a mother to fulfil the holy
purpose of her existence?
Without opening the complex
chapter of (trans)gender categorisation, I believe the only thing that matters
here is our innate sense of being female. Our experiences differ, our thoughts
and opinions are countless, and our diverse understanding of what makes us woman certainly cannot be put in a
single dictionary formation.
What makes us woman is neither our XX chromosome set nor the compliance
of our behaviour and appearance with the norms set out by the society. Now consciously risking my argument being labelled a cliché, I claim that what makes us woman is actually our
individuality, uniqueness and authenticity in whichever form we choose to display it.
Why is it that I am so
sensitive to the matter, you wonder? Because I am a 28-year-old XX chromosome
bearer, married for almost 2 years, and sick and tired of people asking me when
I am going to become a mother.
I am also an XX
chromosome bearer who, much to the society’s dismay and disapproval, had a red-and-black-themed wedding reception, and who
hasn’t regretted it to this very day. It was truly a beautiful event!
But, above all, I am an
XX chromosome bearer who doesn’t stand anyone putting labels on her.
So, ladies, just be yourselves! You are beautiful, authentic and womanly just
the way you are, and no one can argue otherwise. Marry in white or marry in black. Don't ever marry. Have ten children. Don't have any. Adopt. Get a cat. Who am I to tell you what to do? Just do as you like. Dance, cry, smile, sing, scream... But make sure your voice is never muted.
Happy belated International Women’s Day!
Happy belated International Women’s Day!
1 komentari
Lovely text... thanks for sharing!
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