Sketches of a Life

I must say this occasion is the only reason I don't absolutely, utterly, purely hate Winter. I had had the idea on the costume about a month beforehand, but only managed to start working on it the weekend before the carnival. And not only on one, but on two costumes (but that's another story).

Anyway, a bunch of my friends and I decided to go as the Zodiac this year. Although I am a Libra, I opted for the Scorpio, solely because a few years ago I went as Lady Justice - which is quite similar to Libra, I think. And I hate repetition.

Now, if you would like to know how to make a costume like this, or simply need some costume inspiration, read on! 

I must warn you right away: creating this costume was one of the most demanding and exhausting tasks I have ever undertaken: considering I was on a tight schedule, I literary spent four full days with scissors and a needle in my hand. Every little detail of the costume was handmade: hand-cut, hand-sewn and hand-painted. At a moment, I was seriously considering going as a crippled Scorpio: they tend to lose their extremities duing fights, don't they? Sewing machine would have made it a zillion times easier. But I guess I like to suffer.

The first detail I made were the claws. I made them by cutting some silicone sponge sheet into a claw-like shape (later regretting for making it by rote, and not by thoroughly investigating the scorpion anatomy), covering it in black polyester fabric and sewing it onto a pair of black gloves. Now I wish I had made them bigger, thinner and sharper. 

As for the makeup, I completely messed up this time – again, owed to getting dressed at the last moment. But for the purpose of this blog post, I decided to recreate the original idea I had. It's just an outline created using only regular beauty products - eye pencils and eyeshadows, but I hope you'll like it!
Did you dress up for Mardi Gras this year? What did you go as?

P.S. sorry for the poor photo quality; all were taken in a rush with my cell phone.

Beyond doubt, this is the most overwhelming text I have ever decided to write. It tells a story of harassment. Verbal. Psychological. Sexual.

I haven't talked about it in years. Only a few know what actually happened. Even fewer know how stressful, burdening, and traumatizing it was. I ran away and never looked back. And after all the time that's passed, rare are the days when it doesn't at least cross my mind.

Inspired by the countless courageous women (and men) who decided to speak up and give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem of sexual harassment by using the hashtag #MeToo, I too gathered the courage to come forward. 

Now, for the sake of post length, I'm not going to describe different occasions in which I felt sexually harassed (God knows there were plenty). Instead, I'm going to give an account of a situation that left me particularly perplexed and disturbed. I wish everyone would take it as a warning. 

So here it goes.

It was mid-May. I had been unemployed for over six months at the time. One day I stumbled upon a job ad; a company was looking for a secretary/translator. I Googled it and discovered it was a tourist apartment renting business. Assuming the open position had something to do with working at the reception desk, I applied for the job via email.

An hour later, I recieved a reply kindly thanking me for the application and asking for a full stature photo. Signed by a woman. 

I sent the first photo I found. Again, I got a "thank you" back. Signed by a woman.

Next morning, I received a phone call. From a man. Immediately after introducing himself as the owner of the business, he started bragging about his wealth and his plans to get even wealthier. He wouldn't stop talking. There was something strange about him right away. His voice revealed that he was a middle-aged man. His discourse revealed that he wasn't well-read, which I immediately connected to the poorly written email replies I had received the day before. He asked me some extremely odd questions, such as whether I used deodorant or liked wearing high heels (because he needed his translator to attend important meetings with him). He also wanted to know my relationship status and whether my significant other was jealous by nature.

Still, I was desperate for a job and agreed to meet him the next day.

It was Friday. I arrived to the 80 km distant city, expecting him to meet me at a tourist resort or anything as such. Yet, he met me at the streets and took me to what turned out to be a private apartment. I told him I couldn't stay for long because I have someone waiting for me at a nearby bar (which was true, I dared not to come alone). I was right about him: he was a 55-60-year-old bigmouth. He offered me some coffee, told me about his family and their primary business, and described the job position I was supposed to fill: he wanted to start a new business and he needed someone to translate the emails to and from his potential investors. It would include working only for a few hours a day, weekends off, and a fair paycheck. I agreed to a week trial period. 

As soon as I left, his emails and text messages started to arrive. I swear to God, I received more than 100 during the weekend, mainly saying how we're going to achieve great things together. 

When I arrived to work on Monday, he locked the door, took my purse, jacket, and cell phone, telling me he doesn't want me to use it while working.

Then he offered me a cup of tea and insisted on trying some home-made honey; he took a spoon, though, and tried feeding me with it.

Later he started talking about his daughter, a girl my age. He showed me some pieces of the jewellery she had made, took me by the hand and tried putting a ring on my finger.

I can't stress enough how this affected me. I generally have trouble with people coming too close to me, let alone touching me. I was horrified. I had trouble sleeping that night, knowing I needed the money desperately and trying to decide whether it was worth it.

On Tuesday he wanted me to see how awesome his new loudspeakers were. He blasted the music, and all I was thinking was that no one could hear me if I started screaming. For a second, I even considered jumping out of the window in case anything inappropriate started happening, although the place was on the first floor.

On Wednesday he started making some inappropriate comments on the sexual life of celebrities, stressing the role of parents in their intimate affairs. Namely, he believed fathers should decide who their daughters can sleep with, but exclusively for the purpose of satisfying their biological needs and urges, which is important for their performance in professional and other fields. This was the drop that spilled the cup.

On Thursday I told him I decided to go back to my former job after all. He begged me not to do it. He offered to buy me an apartment in his city. He also offered to buy me a car. I, of course, rejected the offer. Eventually we agreed that I would continue translating for him in my free time, but from (the safety of) my home.

This was not the end, though. 

For the following two moths, I had been receiving at least 100 text messages and emails a day from him. He also called on the weekends and holidays, insulting me for refusing to be at his disposal 24/7. This created a tremendous psychological pressure on me. When the payment day came, he accused me of trying to deceive him. When I proved him wrong, he only paid me half the money, and gave me the rest on a later occasion.

After this, I told him I wished him luck with his new business, but didn't want to be part of it anymore.

Maybe I got it all wrong. But the way I felt was real enough for me to run away. 

A year passed by until he called again. I froze. I never answered the call, but I hope he got the message.

#MeToo

7 days and counting.

Still haven't picked up a costume.

Craving for an idea. Desperately in need of something perfect, unique, original.

Yet, lacking inspiration.

Hopelessly browsing Pinterest, Instagram...

Thinking about borrowing your friend's last year's creation.

The panic of missing out on the occasion slowly setting in.

Sounds familiar? Yeah, me neither.

I usually have my costume all planned out months beforehand.

However, if you are one of those not putting much effort into your costume and waiting until the day before Halloween to decide on it, fear not. I have you covered.

Below are a few simple, inexpensive and fairly easy to DIY Halloween makeup ideas. And the best thing of all? Each was created using only regular beauty products (I am certain all can be found in any girl's vanity case), except the last one where I used some of the SFX makeup product remaining from this year's Mardi Gras celebration. 

1. Jack-o'-Lantern

Products used: orangish blush, brown eye shadow, black eyeliner 

Time: 20-30 min

My idea was to demonstrate how altering only the lower part of your face can change your whole appearance and leave plenty of room for building up your imagined character. However, by chance I had my hair styled in pigtails, and when I saw my relfection in the mirror I bursted out laughing and added some blush and dots onto my cheeks, resulting in this wannabe half-zombie Pippi.

Products used: white eye pencil, black eyeshadow, pink blush, red lip pencil

Time: 20-30 mins   

Here I used some liquid latex to cover up my eyebrows (I warn you: peeling it off wasn't fun at all), but you can easily do this with a glue stick. 

Obviously, I've been working on this post for days, so I really hope you'll find it interesting and inspiring. Please keep in mind I am only an amateur in this and be kind in telling me what you think! :)

We all have that one friend. Beautiful. Smart. Successful. Admirable. Amazing in every sense of the word.

The woman every girl dreams of becoming and every man wants to date.

However, she seems forever ill-fortuned when it comes to romantic affairs. The men who approach her, in all honesty, can't hold a handle to her. And the douche she genuinely likes is often too fucked up, lost, intimidated by her, and unable to deal with her character in general.

Why is this so? Why do such strong-character women pose a threat to men?

Basically, there are a few simple answers:

1. She is too independent and perfectly fine running solo

She doesn't need a man to look after her or to rely on. She understands perfectly what she is capable of and acts accordingly. She is proud of the fact that she is able to take care of herself and genuinely embraces the fact that her life is exclusively her own responsibility. She'll never date someone just to make sure she's not alone. On the contrary. She'll take her solitude over bad company any time. Also, she won't let her date drive or pay for dinner just because he's male. She will never apologize for having better education or earning more money. Contrarily, she will never reflect on his education, income, or assets in these terms. And she'll only ask for his help to reach for something on a high shelf to make him feel useful and better about himself, not because she actually couldn't manage without.

This is, of course, contrary to what most men are raised to believe about their role as husbands, fathers, and providers. Biologically speaking, it challenges their innate need to protect, procreate and provide while, historically, it undermines the deeply rooted patriarchal attitudes. Strong-minded women are a threat. They emasculate men. So it's better to go for a poorly-educated, unambitious, low-minded, self-content Barbie willing to settle for being a mother and housewife, right?

But don't be mistaken: she is nothing but emotionally cold. Actually, she in perfect peace with her emotions – either negative or positive. She accepts and expresses her feelings freely because she knows that being honest with herself is the only liberating way to live.

3. She seeks integrity and respect

She has strong moral and ethical convictions, and her actions are in harmony with these. Her words bear weight as, when she makes a promise, she truly means it. She is a person of integrity, loyalty and respect, and she seeks similar traits in men. Unfortunately, as it turns out, men of integrity are almost impossible to find these days.

The easiest way to make her let go is to prove her how little someone's word means, especially when it gets tough. Consequently, when she loses her faith, trust and respect for someone, they never get it back. Never.

4. She sees through pretence and is able to find out anything

Of course, the closer she grows with someone, the better she is able to see through their pretentious behaviours, fake promises, and excuses. However, her emotions sometimes make her turn a blind eye to the warning signs, but she generally gets back on the right track in a while. This is because her trust in her instincts is above her trust in anyone else.

Not to forget, she is also a great investigator. Her innate good sense for people combined with stubbornness, persistence and curiosity make for a killer combination when it comes to finding things out. She knows exactly where to start from and what to look for. And no matter how hidden, she always finds what she's looking for. Basically, it's impossible to bullshit her.

5. She knows her worth

Is she really too much?

Are there any truly realized and self-aware men able to handle her somewhere out there?
Or is she really better off alone?